idiocy&deceit

Ring….Ring…

“Hello. You have reached the NSA. Please listen carefully as our
menu changes all the time. Para el español, prensa dos.

If you know your party’s extension, you should not be hearing this now.

To save time and to serve you better, if you are a terrorist, please
press ‘1’ now for a listing of all non-guarded ports and instructions
for obtaining temporary visas.

If you want to complain about illegal eavesdropping, please press ‘2’.
Be advised that the wait times are longer than expected as all of our
agents are currently listening to other Americans right now. Your call
is important to us. Please stay on the line and the first available agent
will deal with you.

To find out if your number is in our database, please press ‘3’ to listen
to a listing of all numbers we currently have. When you hear your
number please press ‘0’ to ask the next available agent for instructions
on how to remove it.

If you wish to report suspicious activities of your neighbors, friends
or family, please press ‘4’.

If you wish to complain about the liberal press or the Democratic Party,
please press ‘5’.

If you are an illegal immigrant and would like to return to Mexico, please
press ‘6’ to speak to one of our minuteman affiliates.

To have an updated copy of the Bill of Rights mailed to you, please press ‘7’
or contact your Republican Congressman or Senator. There’s no need to provide your phone number or address.

If you are Osama bin Laden or a member of Al Qaeda or any insurgent calling from Iraq, please hang up call back when we’re not so busy with American Surveillance. Thank you for your understanding.

Remember, you can contact us on the internet at any time. Just type NSA at any time on any page. There’s no need to press any key, we’ll do it for you.

If you suspect that your rights have been violated by the NSA, stay on the
line or hang up. Either way an agent will be assigned to visit you.”

Click….

Knock knock knock!

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